Keith Chegwin's recent Tweets

Top Christmas Toys
thekeithchegwin
Erectile dysfunction on increase. If you suffer; Please add white flag with a red cross to your van or car
Updated 19-Jan 09:02 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Asked if I liked leg or breast. I said ‘I like nice bum’ Apparently it’s not a suitable answer in KFC
Updated 19-Jan 09:02 via web
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thekeithchegwin
A few 2 keep u going! Busy day 2day. Have a lovely one & thanks for yesterdays birthday messages X
Updated 18-Jan 08:14 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Mates had a mole removed from his willy – He won’t be doing that again
Updated 18-Jan 08:11 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Have a poo @ work. It saves on toilet paper & you’re getting paid to do it
Updated 18-Jan 08:07 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Drinking goat's milk is not as bad as getting the grass stains out of your jeans when you're done
Updated 18-Jan 08:06 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Saw my doctor, said I’ve got diarrhoea & can’t hold it in. He said ‘For God sake do you have to tell me in the middle of Tesco’s'
Updated 18-Jan 08:00 via web
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thekeithchegwin
A Jehovah's Witness (who’s also an Atheist) knocked on my door for no apparent reason
Updated 18-Jan 07:59 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Not gonna do that partner swapping thing ever again…..I still wonder how the girls on
Updated 18-Jan 07:59 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Well done 2 Tonia who sent me this. “@tonia_eades: @thekeithchegwin I won £50 on pch prizes today thanks for the recommendation !!”
Updated 17-Jan 18:31 via Twitter for iPad
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thekeithchegwin
Can't keep up with all the lovely Bday messages. Apologies if I don't reply to all - I am trying. X
Updated 17-Jan 09:06 via web
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thekeithchegwin
WOW! Thank U 4 the lovely birthday mentions. Very kind of you all. Having a day off. THANK YOOOOO! Xx
Updated 17-Jan 08:50 via web
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thekeithchegwin
@KerryKatona7 People asking me if its the real Kerry K. It is. Follow her & get 1 of Kerry’s Autographed Cards. That’s KAC for short
Updated 16-Jan 09:36 via web
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thekeithchegwin
People tell me that my grammar stinks - What do they expect - She's 85
Updated 16-Jan 08:45 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Got bronze in the National Tanning Championships
Updated 16-Jan 08:45 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Sorry for the typo
Updated 16-Jan 08:44 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Just read book four in the ‘Learn 2 Count’ trilogy
Updated 16-Jan 08:16 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Grandad came back from the war with one arm – we still don’t knew whose it was…
Updated 16-Jan 08:11 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Mate got me a bat & ball - The bats useless - Just hangs upside down in the wardrobe
Updated 16-Jan 08:05 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Blokes think about sex about every 6 breasts
Updated 16-Jan 08:05 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Lovely time @dancingonice @kerrykatona7 was such a laugh! Tell her I sent u & she'll send u Kerry badge. Be quick she may have run out
Updated 16-Jan 07:40 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Golden Globes - Can't Bloody Wait. I'm watching ur back over here @rickygervais - Good Luck Sir
Updated 15-Jan 09:57 via web
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thekeithchegwin
I've decided. Not taking @ianfeltham - could u let him know. Break it to him gently !!
Updated 15-Jan 09:42 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Taking my mate @ianfeltham - He's bringing chocolates
Updated 15-Jan 09:34 via web
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thekeithchegwin
Happy Sunday! Invited 2 'Dancing On Ice' 2night. Might take skates in case Christopher doesn't turn up
Updated 15-Jan 09:31 via web
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Keith Chegwin tweets most often during the morning (9am-midday)

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